Friday, 8 November 2019

Friday Movie: Robin Hood

A war-hardened Crusader and his Moorish commander mount an audacious revolt against the corrupt English crown.

Director: Otto Bathurst
Writers: Ben Chandler (screenplay by), David James Kelly (screenplay by) |
Stars: Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx, Ben Mendelsohn

Why do everything has to be so edgy and modern these days?! This is the Robin Hood that you really do not need.

It starts with Robin and his fellow US soldiers during the Iraq war...wait what? Oh sorry. I mean no it does not look like they are dress in khaki, wearing kevlar and using bows as guns, and the enemy has this machine arrow..gun *eyeroll*

In strolls Marian showing a lot of skin for that era..ok.
Later it shows that she is poor with her hubby, but damn girl, sell that nightgown! A lace nightgown would go for a pretty penny.

The town is GoT like, oh it was filmed in Dubrovnik, that explains it. Very English. Yup.

Dang that leather is so well tailored. This town has the best tailor. The stitches are superb, also wtf is everyone wearing? Is this a Gucci catwalk? Oh my, look at that hair. These nobles are very modern. Orgy too, ok, also is this a casino?

Church now, priest in pretty yellow like chickens. Look at that noble Wearing a tartan jacket, how very cool of them. I guess they are Scot friendly too.

And that speech how the infidels are coming to England if they do not send men. Very inspiring. I mean I would be worried about the French, but yes imminent attack from the Middle East does seem more likely.

Ohh railway tracks, ok fine that does it. What is this? Is there a single thing that is correct? Nope, I guess not.

If it had been factual then this could have been great (also why is Jamie Foxx even here? His character is so underdeveloped! He needs more screentime!) Anyway, now it just feels like some weird edgy cool mess that they tried and failed.

Working class riot at the end too. The miners are angry.

And Marian, wtf, no you do not do that! Ugh, I hate everyone

Do not watch it. I mean, to nitpick, sure watch it then, but not for fun, it is mostly aggravating. I can not let myself just enjoy it when it is so clearly nothing Medieval about it. Not one single thing.



26 comments:

  1. Iraq war?? Ack it would lose me right there... I need SOME traditionalism... :)

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    Replies
    1. Well not really, it is the Crusades, but looks like Baghdad

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  2. Haha how many Robin Hood movies do they need? And yeah, I don't like how all remakes now are trying to out do each other in edge, lol.

    ~Mogsy @ BiblioSanctum

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    Replies
    1. A million, but this one was just BAD. Nothing is better than men in tights ;)

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  3. Not sure I sax this one but well I'll definitely pass

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  4. I haven't seen it but it doesn't sound like my kind of movie.

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  5. Do. Not. Need. Ugh... can't believe you watched it!

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  6. I'm so tired of trendy, edgy movies. Make some movies with heart and an actual good plot for goodness sakes! I hardly see anything anymore that isn't above 3 stars for me. :/

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  7. I enjoyed this one, but I wasn't able to finish it. I can't remember why. lol.

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  8. I didn't even know they had made another movie of Robin Hood. Why?? Aren't there enough bad Robin Hood movies? My favorite is still the Disney animated one with the animals. :-)

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Books of My Heart

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    Replies
    1. I guess you can never have too many ...actually you totally can!

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  9. I think that I will be skipping this one.

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  10. Oh boy, sounds like they ruined it. I do like Jamie Foxx though.

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  11. Gucci catwalk LMAO

    I never had any urge to see this one. It looks exactly how you described it.

    Karen @ For What It's worth

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