Lady Scoundrels' Saturday: Song of Scarabaeus - Sara Creasy

March is well under way and Lady Scoundrel Saturday is back and this time with a review of a sci-fi book., and a new concept of presenting it. Let me present:

Song of Scarabaeus (Scarabaeus #1) by Sara Creasy

Blod: I did not finish, I am horrible, but I have reached the point where I just can’t read everything, I have to say no once and again. And for me this was a DNF. I was bored by page 1. They told me to go for 30, still bored, so I read (and skimmed) to 100 and said NO! 

Ram: And you chose the book! Thank you for that by the way. 

Ana: Yes, the choice was very nice, but not exactly fortunate for the chooser. I personally liked this novel and I was surprised Blodeuedd had so many problems with it. Life of a reader is never easy.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about this book?

B. Boooooooooooring! I did not give a rat’s ass about it.

Ram: Which I still can’t understand. For me, it’s the musical analogies. How what Edie does is like composing or playing music to her, which kind of makes sense if I start to think about coding and the mathematics of it. 

Ana: I immediately thought about the human race and the fact that too often we act as a major parasite - whenever we go we want to colonize, change and adapt and everything should submit. If it doesn’t work of if we are attacked by not-so defenceless locals we scream blue murder. 

Not what comes first to mind to me, but it’s true. We’re a horrible race.

Well, I liked the music references as well but after a moment they were kind of drowned by the purpose of Edie’s work.

B, why didn’t you like the book?

B: I got kind of confused at once, and the feeling never left me. I was bored, it felt heavy, I was lost and I just never felt a connection.

Ram: Did you just immediately lose interest and give up on it? The book never really had a chance to win you over after that bad start? Because I did think the beginning was difficult to get through but once I got on the other side it more than redeemed itself for me.

Ana: In my humble opinion there was too much nerdspeak at the very beginning. It was indeed difficult to swallow in one big gulp.

B. To answer Ram’s question, yes. Sometimes I feel at once that it will not work. Sometimes I can struggle, but at other times I need to give up. And the nerdspeak, I have read heavy nerdy books but at least they did not make me wanna tear my eyes out ;)

Ana: Ouch!

Ram: Ouch indeed.  I didn’t mind the nerdspeak, I minded the undefined abbreviations. But then again, I’d just finished reading another Scifi novel so it wasn’t a huge jump. 

What do you think of the main heroine, Edie? Could you relate to her easily?

B: Nope, I did not care really. I need to care when I read and she, well I felt nothing this time around. Yes I had issues with everything.

Ram: I liked that although she was the best of the best in one thing, she was basically innocent and ignorant in all others. Basic human interactions seemed like a difficult concept to her and her antisocial tendencies made it almost impossible for her to understand the larger implications of her actions. That’s why I felt like she and Finn made a good team. They balanced each other.

Ana: I found Edie difficult to like at first but learning more and more about her background made me more understanding. I appreciated her compassion and care, especially towards an alien planet she simply didn’t want to despoil. It was brave.

Ram: Brave and thoughtless. It turned out okay for her to a certain extent, but it could have gone horribly wrong for everyone. And it did.

There are certainly different kinds of bravery...

Ram: What do you mean? 

What did you think about the world building?

B: I am not the person to ask, but it seemed promising...some parts

Ana: I loved the descriptions of Scarabeus, the planet. The rest was so-so, especially the ship Hoi Polloi made me shrug more than one time. Less interesting than your average car ;p.

Ram: The ship and the space-bandits were quite a simplistic concept, but when I think to the beginning of the book and how Creasy mentioned something in passing only to expand on it later, and how it eventually became a pillar of a larger story, a guiding light to Edie’s purpose, I can’t but be awed. The relationship between Crib and the Fringers, the politics and the history that was only hinted at. I want to know more about it, and there is the second book, which hopefully will continue exploring concepts introduced here. A book I need to hunt down and read, soon.

What about Finn? A clever manipulator or a victim of politicians? 

B: Sadly I never got to know him cos you make him sound interesting

Ram: Can’t he be all those things? I think, in this book, he started out as a victim of his situation and a manipulator of the people directly around him..

Ana: Which is kind of awesome, taking into account the fact that he was a slave.

Ram: It is. He goes through a change, just like Edie, but different. He’s been enslaved and his voice had been taken from him. But his first word is a choice that costs a man his life and earns Finn his freedom. All his actions after that balance on a similar line. He’s protecting himself first and he’s willing to do anything including manipulating Edie to stay alive. I also think that towards the end, I saw the possibility of him becoming a skilled politician, but that’s Edie’s compassion having an influence on him.  

Did you like the title? Song of Scarabaeus? 

B: Sure, the title sounds cool.

Ana: Horrible and misleading ;p

Ram: It was the Scarabaeus I had trouble with. Made me think of a bad (wannabe) Egyptian erotica.

Ana: *dies laughing*

B: I have to put in a LOL here ;) It shows I did not read it

Ram: What can I say? Previous bad experiences are bad.

Would you recommend the book and to whom? B, we’re not trying to exclude you or anything...

B: Ha, guess my answer. It’s a no. No one should read this book.

Ana: I would recommend this one to people who liked Wall-e and Star Wars :)

Ram: I fail to see how you connect Wall-e to this. I’d recommend this to people who like rogue alien worlds and don’t mind giving a book fifty pages to win them over. Yes, I upped it from thirty because obviously it didn’t work on B. I’ve not read enough Scifi to say more.

Ana: My connections with Wall-e? What about music? Space ships? A planet which needs saving? Eh, ok, Sirantha Jax fans then or those who like Scott Orson Card. 

Until next month then. I hope you enjoyed our programme.

:D

Lady Scoundrels' Saturday: Dirty - Megan Hart

Lady Scoundrels are back and this time we review Dirty by Megan Hart. First up is Scorn.


Synopsis 
What I liked: 

What comes to your mind when you see erotica novels? Of course plenty of graphic sex scenes, a skeleton plot, a very superficial psychological make-up if any at all, characters often limited only to a description of an appearance. Small wonder plenty of readers shun these books considering them a waste of time and money. I am usually one of such readers. However Megan Hart managed to break that mould. 

I would compare ‘Dirty’ to ‘Bitter Moon’, an old movie by Roman Polanski which told a story of a romance in a very intelligent, funny and moving way. With the emphasis on ‘intelligent’ which always, entices me more than anything and makes me cave in even if, officially I am hardly a romance fan, let alone erotica reader. I found Elle a surprisingly complex heroine, taking into account what genre we are talking about. Her actions were fully justified by her sad experiences and reading about her I felt as if she was really alive, not one more sex-crazed cardboard character you can find galore in such novels. After a while you understand why she has acted they way she did but the full story is revealed at the end and the more you read the more you want to find out. You sympathize with her and with Dan who tries to lure her out of her shell and engage in a mature relationship. 

What I didn’t like: 

Although, up to a point, I could relate to Elle, I doubt such generous, understanding and patient men as Dan exist at all. He was like that fairy tale prince – a well-rounded lover, ready to be taken, without major commitments or vices. I can’t help thinking that in real life he would have a wife and at least several part-time bimbos hidden somewhere in the closet; that and a nasty habit or two ;p. 

Final verdict: 

If you feel like reading erotica go for something intelligent and read this one. The love scenes are really steamy hot and when you finish you won’t despise yourself for spending so much time with a ‘pink’ novel. 

Warning: 

It is an erotica romance novel - it contains a lot of graphic sex scenes which are highly inappropriate for underage public. Such issues as incest, suicide and sexual abuse of a minor are mentioned as well. Keep it in mind while deciding whether you want to read it or not.

 Sense says:

You don’t need to know who she is or who he is. All you need to know is that they meet by chance, they start fucking each other everywhere, he bosses her around, and she turns frigid after each fuck. And that it’s all boring.

As refreshing at it is to read about a successful—and surprisingly a total pushover—woman who fully embraces her sexuality, reading about said woman fucking a stranger in public places without preamble is not. When connecting with the characters is a problem, even the hottest sex scenes fall flat.

After all that it’s a bit too late to start fixing things. Although. If you’d take Dan and all the sex out I’d probably give this book four stars, because the only thing interesting in this book is Elle’s relationship with Gavin, the boy next door. Her secret might hit red on your squick scale but it’s quite obvious from the start. It was actually my first theory after reading couple of hints in the book. 

The end reveal was rushed and disappointing in all its telling—as opposed to showing. 

And last Sensitivity

I will give you that, it was dirty and hot...really dirty and hot. But as I am a known sex scene skimmer I do want more than that. And here it just did not work.

Elle was, well yes I know the whole point was that she was cold and needed to find the way to love and be loved again. But I never connected to her. As for Dan, him I never knew at all. I did not understand why he was with her, I did not feel a thing.

So I am stuck with 2 people I do not care about. Which leaves me with dirty sex scene (that I end up skimmin anyway cos I get bored by too much sex). I did like the whole plot though. Why she was so fucked up.

But I was bored, a lot. And while reading I actually fell sleep. There was still something good over the book, the emotional drama, the hot scene, the writing. But in the end not the book for me. No connection, no deal.

Lady Scoundrels' Saturday: A night like This - Julia Quinn

Welcome to Lady Scoundrels' Saturday. We are re-inventing the whole idea so today you will get two full length reviews. Both Sense and Sensitivity and when 2013 comes around we will be back with new ideas.

Lady Scoundrels review A Night Like this

Part 1 Scorn

And now Part 2. Sense

I wish I could upgrade the rating from suckity-suck to the theory-good-practice-not level, but I can’t. This book read like someone, after having written one historical romance too many, decided to fake it and throw together an endless string of period appropriate sounding platitudes. When I start paying attention to the language and platitudes, you know the story sucks.

Annelise Sophronia Sawcross - Anne Wynter is a governess at the Pleinsworth household. She’s very lucky to have such a good position after being forced to live on her own and slave for her only two letters of recommendation. Of course someone is going to walk into her life and ruin it for her. The disaster comes in form of Daniel Smythe-Smith, the Earl of Winstead, recently returned from three year exile on the continent.

The heroine, at sixteen, was a vain and self-absorbed nitwit who got herself into trouble with a man she loved. After eight years she’s grown up a bit; I just don’t think she’s grown up enough. She’s a wishy-washy thing who on a theoretic level recognises the boundaries of her station in life, but in reality fails to show any kind of moral backbone and act accordingly. One minute she’s begging the oh so high above her earl to kiss her and another she’s pulling away, telling him to leave, and saying sorry for things she’s only half responsible for. Anne Wynter isn’t a woman who has learned to clean up her own messes.

What of the hero then? He’s another precious aristocrat, a babe in a man’s body, an adolescent who has given up alcohol but failed to fix whatever got him into the trouble with the Ramsgates and forced him to flee England in the first place. One minute he’s acting like any other man with a woman—stealing kisses, copping a feel—and another he’s a virginal youth dreaming of holding hands with his very first sweetheart ever.

Nothing of this story comes across convincing or consistent let alone appealing.

The whole book is basically about Anne thinking she shouldn’t but doing it anyway, and Daniel flying off the handle but failing to harm the one person most deserves to be harmed—himself.

Without the costumes and dates mentioned, I wouldn’t have thought I was reading a historical romance. The characters don’t exactly talk and act like people from the 1900’s. (I swear to all things holy Anachronist is brainwashing me because I never used to notice these things.)  Of course I’m not an expert on the language but some of the expressions Quinn uses feel too modern for the context. There were good quotes and an odd scene or two that were almost entertaining, but nothing in the way this author writes is especially attractive to me.

This was my first attempt reading a Julia Quinn novel and it looks to be my last.


Series: Smythe-Smith Quartet #2
Pages: 373 (paperback)
Publisher: Piatkus Books
ISBN: 0062072919
Published: May 29th 2012
Source: Bought

Part 3 Sensitivity

I was disappointed, there is no other way to describe it. I was about to give this book a 3, solely cos of my love for Quinn and the last 30 pages...yeah. But hey I need to be harsh, if it does not work is does not work. It was sadly just ok (except for those last 30 pages that is.)

What was my first complaint? Insta love. I mean come on! Daniel comes home, spots a woman and falls in love. Ahem, no sorry Daniel, that means you fancy her and wants to throw her down on the rug and have your wicked way with her. You are not in love. He then tracks her down and jumps her, she just lets him. Again, what? This doesn't really fit her back story.

For me the insta love just did not work here. He chased a dream and she was cold and I never felt that she liked him  back. I never felt anything from her. She was a ghost, a very pretty ghost who changes the air in the room. Yes we get it, she is Miss Universe. And all of this ultimately means that the love story just fell short for me. On the one hand there was lust from our earl ( I refuse to say love) and from her...nothing.

I did like the mystery. Who is trying to hurt him. That was exciting. While her story, is someone after her was silly. Just get over it.

And then we have the epic last 30 pages. The chase is on. What will they do? Those were sadly the best pages of the book.

But something did  make me want more, Hugh, I want Hugh to find a girl. I really liked Hugh. Yes the person I liked the most was a side character that  shows up 4 times or so.

The only thing that would make me want more Smythe-Smiths, is that I heard that Hugh does in fact get a book. Because else, then this series would go from autobuy to maybe. And it still might.

Cover Snark

The Blue one is nice but when is she running at night, and wearing pink shoes?

The Second is cute, but not memorable

Lady Scoundrels' Saturday: A night Like this - Julia Quinn

Over the next 3 Saturdays we will be taking on A night like this by Julia Quinn.

Lady Scoundrels Review A Night like this

Part 1 Scorn:

The revenge will be bloody

Once upon a time an English aristocrat called Daniel returned home from three years of wandering abroad. You see, he was hiding from another aristocrat who wanted to kill him. Ok, never mind.  As soon as he returned he saw a beautiful girl. "She was petite, small in that way that made a man want to slay dragons". I don't doubt she looked like this:

Oh no, sorry, wrong picture. She was of course looking like this:

Nononono, wrong picture again. Ok, I am pretty sure she looked more like this:

Here you go. She was playing the piano and, as soon as he saw her and she saw him they fell in complete insta-lust. It was as if his inner self kept whispering into his ear:

WRhawwwrrrr....Of course, being a young man and an English aristocrat to boot he had to check whether that claim was more or less true. His beloved was called Anne Wynter and she was employed as a governess in the house of his female cousins who, being unbearably shallow and sweet, all looked the same :

They tittered and quarrelled and giggled...Well, they had every right to be similar and stupid, it's not their story, right? Anyway Daniel started to visit them very often just to be in the blissful presence of their governess and...er...touch her hand from time to time.

Still the governess had her own secrets and, being very sadly experienced when it comes to the close contacts with the so-called gentlemen she wasn't that willing to let him touch her...er... anything. Daniel also had a bunch of problems on his own. 

No, dear ladies, there is nothing to laugh about. English aristocrats do have serious problems and English governesses always have a secret or two hidden in a drawer right next to their underwear. Do you want proof? Here you go, a direct quote:

"He wanted her. He wanted her completely. But his family was waiting for him at supper, and his ancestors were staring down at him from their portrait frames, and she—the woman in question—was watching him with a wariness that broke his heart.."

You see? A real problem. 

Then they go to the country together and our sweet Anne found herself falling deeper and deeper in lust because Daniel was so sweet and so pretty and SO incredibly rich...and here the problems of our governess started to emerge from her overflowing drawer:

But really, it didn’t matter who she was. Anne Wynter . . . Annelise Shawcross . . . Neither one of them was a suitable match for Daniel Smythe-Smith, Earl of Winstead, Viscount Streathermore, and Baron Touchton of Stoke. He had more names than she did. It was almost funny.

Yes, dear sir, you heard it right. It was said 'funny'.

Then there is a lot of talk about food and food preferences, kissing or not kissing, strolling or not strolling and different trivial hobbies of young brainless ladies. You see, Daniel wanted to know his beloved better, to see her soul and her heart, not only her luscious body. Do guys necessarily need a woman's background history to spontaneously want to bang her or play epic-kiss-face? Yes they do. But only just a little bit. A real masterpiece of romance literature, with great, well-rounded, interesting characters don't you think, dear reader? 

After a while my eyebrows get stuck up high and I couldn't believe I was reading such a depressingly shallow book. Still a challege is a challege, right? After page number 65 I started SKIMMING.

It didn't help much. You see I kept encountering such fragments:

"Could you imagine? Telling Lady Pleinsworth the truth about her background? Well, the thing is, I’m not a virgin. And my name is not really Anne Wynter. Oh, and I stabbed a man and now he’s madly hunting me until I’m dead. A desperate, horrified giggle popped out of Anne’s throat. What a resumé that was."

I was just waiting for the main villain to appear and save the day. Silly, silly me. Instead of a villain I got a papercut bloke.

"George just shrugged, and in that moment he confirmed all of Anne’s darkest suspicions. He was mad. He was utterly, completely, loonlike mad. There could be no other explanation. No sane individual would risk killing a peer of the realm in order to get to her."

Irrefutable logic, my lady.

The ending was in perfect accordance with the rest of the book: senseless, stupid, shallow, not really resolving anything so completely redundant. But it was the end of my suffering. 

Final verdict:

After reading such a book I feel like this:

I do not recommend it to anybody. Unless you are a masochist.

Bridget/anachronist

Scoundrel Saturday: Lord of Scoundrels - Loretta Chase

Rameau, Anachronist and I was talking and an idea was born. The idea was already in play as Rameau and I both reviewed Season for Surrender. And  I am now proud to bring you  Scoundrel Saturdays! Yes we will all review the same book and see how it goes. It will be interesting to see how much our opinions differ and it's a fun thing to do. 3 views of the same book.

I bring you Scorn, Sensitivity and Sense!

 The Lady Scoundrels reviews Loretta Chase.

(Ana's idea and she is scorn and starts today ;)

Form: pdf file, e-book

Genre: regency historical romance

Target audience: adult women

Synopsis:

He is an inveterate rake with a lot of money. An ugly, dark beast with a big nose and big…everything else. Intimidating, admired and feared whenever he chooses to be.  She is a beauty and a proper lady but from an impoverished family. If he wants something he buys it immediately. She has a nose for business but she doesn’t necessarily want to get married. They fall in lust. He wants her but so far he’s been avoiding ladies like plague so he hardly knows what hit him. He ruins her reputation but not because he wanted to, as she thinks. She shots him. They marry. They fall in love. She learns about his by-blow. He is afraid he might lose her but it might be far more complicated than that. Will they stay together? Yes, they will. End of the story.

What I liked:

Overall I hate romances as a genre but I admit there are exceptions. Loretta Chase’s book is one of them. Why? First of all this author uses thorough characterization which always in my eyes constitutes a redeeming quality.You would think other romance writers should know it as well. Well, most of them don’t. Chase knows how to construct characters who break the standard romance novel stereotype which is another big advantage.

For example in this one you are presented the title Lord of Scoundrels not only as a ready-made, brutal rake extraordinaire but also as a lonely, rejected, ugly child who had to fight his way into other people’s hearts. A child who had to learn early how to mask his fear and weaknesses with brutality, laughter and disdain. Such a well-thought-out background, even if a bit simplistic and also a bit spurious, makes you warm even to a cold-blooded scoundrel, in other words a prime jackass material. You see, he’s been traumatized so you kind of understand Dain's sexist, obstinate view of women. Somebody has to be blamed.

Our heroine, Jessica Trent, is prepared very well to take control and tame the ‘Beast’ – she comes from a big family and has dealt with unruly boys all her life (once again the background presented by the author helps us understanding how come a proper miss knew such deft methods).

In fact the story begins when Jessica has to intervene in order to save her stupid brother, Bertie, from a complete ruin. That nitwit has got himself deep into debts trying to emulate the lifestyle of his idol, Sebastian Ballister the Marquess of Dain, the title scoundrel. If Bertie sinks, he will drag down his sister as well so our intrepid girl decides to confront the source of her brother’s idiocy. I was thoroughly enchanted by Jessica's refreshing and realistic acceptance of her attraction to Dain. These two quickly find a common tongue – their sparring is fun, with plenty of chemistry and sparks flying around. These two are more than a match for each other and their sense of humour suited me perfectly. Just not to sound groundless let me quote one excerpt here:

“With the world securely in order, Dain was able to devote the leisurely bath time to editing his mental dictionary. He removed his wife from the general category labeled "Females" and gave her a section of her own. He made a note that she didn't find him revolting, and proposed several explanations: (a) bad eyesight and faulty hearing, (b)a defect in a portion of her otherwise sound intellect, (c) an inherited Trent eccentricity, or (d) an act of God. Since the Almighty had not done him a single act of kindness in at least twenty-five years, Dain thought it was about bloody time, but he thanked his Heavenly Father all the same, and promised to be as good as he was capable of being.”

Jess also provides a very nice definition of romance which suited me very well:

"In my dictionary, romance is not maudlin, treacly sentiment," she said. "It is a curry, spiced with excitement and humor and a healthy dollop of cynicism." She lowered her lashes. "I think you will eventually make a fine curry, Dain―with a few minor seasoning adjustments."

To sum this section up the beauty of this story is that long after I've closed the book, I still could remember those small episodes and funny dialogues - describing them in more detail here would be spoiling the story - that just seem so real, a feature usually non-existent in other romance novels.

What I didn’t like:

I admit the plot, construction-wise, was so-so: predictable, artificially divided into two parts (before and after the marriage), with some unnecessary complications (the icon) and redundant characters like Charity Graves, the mother of Dain’s illegitimate son. However I grant it, there was one good twist: (spoiler, highlight to read or skip) the heroine shooting her love interest to get him cornered and force him to make the right decision was unexpected.

Some descriptions of sex scenes made me smirk or even laugh out loud and not for a good reason. I don’t know, maybe this book just aged badly (it was released in 1995) or maybe it’s just me but I found them inadvertently funny instead of steamy with sentences like these:

"He trailed his tongue over one sleek eyebrow" (oh goodness, you will get some furballs my dear tomcat!)  or "Yes, Kill me, Jess. Do it again."

 Correct me if I am mistaken but I suppose you can die only once, unless you are James Bond…

I also admit that the use of a dialect (Phelps, one of Dain’s servant is responsible) sometimes made me to question my sanity and my own comprehension of the English language. How would you understand such a beauty:

"Nuss give it to you when your ma run off, 'n you was sick some'at fierce from it"

There were also several annoying repetition in the text - for example after reading it you know, intimately, how both characters smell because the author took pains to tell you so every chapter or two using always the same set of words. Considering how relatively short the story is, it's not like I'd forget these details. A good edit could remove a lot of those repetitions or change them a bit so the narrative is more bearable.

Finally let me only register my profound surprise that such a whoring bastard like Sebastian Ballister the Marquess of Dain never caught any of these unpleasant diseases…

Final verdict:

It was a good read. Not earth shattering or steam-up-my-glasses but good. Still, all you, romance lovers be warned: this praise comes from an unromantic girl. Lord of Scoundrels is a strange romance. It might not fit in your perception of the genre. It is also hardly a faultless book but those are rarities indeed.

Bridget/anachronist