Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Throne of Glass 0.1-0.5 and 1 - Sarah J Maas

Celaena Sardothien is Adarlan's most feared assassin. As part of the Assassin's Guild, her allegiance is to her master, Arobynn Hamel, yet Celaena listens to no one and trusts only her fellow killer-for-hire, Sam. In these action-packed novellas - together in one edition for the first time - Celaena embarks on five daring missions. They take her from remote islands to hostile deserts, where she fights to liberate slaves and seeks to avenge the tyrannous. But she is acting against Arobynn's orders and could suffer an unimaginable punishment for such treachery. Will Celaena ever be truly free? Explore the dark underworld of this kick-ass heroine to find out.

My thoughts:
The assassin and the pirate lord.
Assassin with attitude is send to deal with a pirate. Lots of attitude, little display of gifts so far. At this moment she is too cocky for me.

The assassin and the healer
Still cocky assassin made a mistake and is paying for it. The Healer was interesting though. I'd like to see more of her

The Assassin and the Desert
Meeting desert assassins at a school, meeting a cute guy too. And I must say, for an assassin she does not assassinate a lot of people...make that zero. I know it's YA, but come on, KILL someone!

The assassin and the underworld
I should write these before moving to the next one and forgetting the story...
Eh...right. For an assassin she kind of sucks. I would think she would be better at it.

I can't remember the title. edit. and the empire
Silly little girl. You learned nothing.
Also, just cos you say you killed liked a billion people, I will not feel that you are strong, scary or anything before you actually show me that. I know this is YA, but this girl is a bad BAD assassin. She keeps getting caught. She should be dead by now.

And should that part of the story have made me sad? Who gives a F. I never felt it. I never believed it. So when it happened I did not care.

Still it was not badly written, so it was good. But I do not believe her to be a badass. So I liked to imagine these stories about a girl learning to be an assassin and failing a lot...then it worked.


ebook, 448 pages
Published March 4th 2014 by Bloomsbury Childrens
Fantasy, YA

After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince. Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition: she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin. Her opponents are men-thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the king's council. If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she'll serve the kingdom for three years and then be granted her freedom. 

Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilirating. But she's bored stiff by court life. Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her... but it's the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best. 

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead... quickly followed by another. 

Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined.

My thoughts:
I was told by EVERYONE to read this book. And no I did not love it like everyone else, but it was amusing. Yes I was amused by the things everyone loved, while I rolled my eyes. So for that it was rather enjoyable to read. It was good, just very very stupid. I think I will do this review in the form of the notes I took while reading.

Notes to self:
*Terrible assassin, has no aim!
* Very preoccupied by her looks and dresses, dirt under nails after having been in a mine for a year. Please bitch
* No assassin skills (like waking up by the sound of the wind and killing the no). Instead everyone can come in and wake her and KILL HER, ok no one kills her but they could.
*Most unbelievable assassin ever!!
*Emotions should be kept hidden, first rule of assassins
*Wow, she did manage to be good at contradicts everything else.
*More people manage to come close without her hearing
*She is scared a lot and please kill someone already!
*If you were a real assassin you could have escaped by now
*The "time, era" is all over the place. It's like industrial meets Middle Ages
*More world building please, it sucks.

*If there are lots of wars that has been going on, are going on, and will start then I would expect more soldiers, and less men around. Cos they are all dead. But I guess no one has died in these wars 
*Omg the candy scene!! Sigh. She comes in, there is mysterious candy on her bed, she, wait for it...EATS THE CANDY. Wtf girl? Well now I know how to kill your sorry ass.

Oh oh! And there is a love triangle! *eye roll*

And something about the other characters, ok one. The captain of the guard falls apart at the end..WTF MAN!? For that? You, warrior, captain, whatever

Sucky world, TSTL heroine (I liked to imagine her as been Schizo and her being an awesome assassin was all in her mind).

But hey I still enjoyed it cos it was rather ridiculous. NO idea, how I liked it enough to rate it good, but it was good in all it's silliness.

If you want to read good fantasy, then do NOT read this.

If you want to laugh then read this, even if it's not a funny book. It's just a story about the worst assassin who has ever lived, ahh funny. I was never bored, there was always something new and silly on the horizon that makes no sense.

*note: do not hate me now Marcela! :)


Kindle Edition, 432 pages
Published August 7th 2012 by Bloomsbury USA Childrens (first published August 2nd 2012)
Throne of Glass #1
Fantasy, YA


Chris said...

Another hood cover! ARGH!! ;p

Anonymous said...

Your notes just cracked me up. I liked #1 but totally see your points. I am going to have a hard time taking the novella seriously now! Waiting for the lib to get them to me...

Anonymous said...

I just bought the short story collection, so I hope I'll enjoy it. I really like the series and the last book was pretty awesome :)

~Mogsy @ BiblioSanctum

Unknown said...

LOL I didn't love it but I found it good enough to read book 2 (which I haven't done yet ) :)

Blodeuedd said...


Blodeuedd said...

Hihi, I loved being snarky, cos there was so much to snark about

Blodeuedd said...

If you like the series then I am sure you will

Blodeuedd said...

;) Maybe one day then

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Oh no! Maybe now I can read it because I know more about it's failings. Still... TSTL, bad assassin and love triangle... hm... will be thinking about it more before I try it.

Blodeuedd said...

Do not listen to me, EVERYONE else loves it

Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer said...

The books just gt better Linda, this one has the most YA vibe, and the third feels like high fantasy :)

Blodeuedd said...

Yeah..well I hated the third one, it was so boring

kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...

hahaha, you are a tough customer, Linda :))) Really enjoyed your notes!

Mary @ BookSwarm said...

The first book (well, the prequels) made me like her more though, yeah, she's not a great assassin. Certainly not the best in the world.

Anna (herding cats-burning soup) said...

Hrm. I don't know that these are for me. I've seen them out about around so much with people loving them.

Lola said...

hahah, yeah she is not as badass as people may think but she is a little. ^^ I loved the competition in ToG!!

Aurian said...

Best review ever Linda! Of course an 18 year young girl cannot be the best assassin ever. She is just not physically strong enough.

manda | elfswood.blogspot said...

Haha ohh I remember reading TOG and it made me MAD that I was supposed to believe this girl to be the *best* assassin out there. Awesome review!

BookaholicCat said...

Noooo! My heart! I can't take more. :'(

Melliane said...

LOL I love your review. Marcela was amazing enough to buy me the first 2 books but I still need to get into them.

brandileigh2003 said...

Aw, sorry you didn't love it like most of us did, but glad it amused you at least

Carole Rae said...

hahahaha wow. Everyone has a flaw, B, you could totally poison me by giving me mysterious cookies. 0.0 I will have to skip this one though, bc I love my assassin's badass and actually prove it. Show and tell man, show and tell.

Elysium said...

I actually kinda liked the first book. Not a WOW factor but still. For YA it was good :D

Blodeuedd said...

I aim to please...and snark

Blodeuedd said...

I wish they would have said, oh she is the best in the city, ok, a city of bad assassins, just don't go overboard now

Blodeuedd said...

I would not recommend them

Blodeuedd said...

I wish I had liked it more but alas

Blodeuedd said...

Thank you!
And YES, I wish the author could realize that. And stop saying she is the best when she sucks

Blodeuedd said...

Yes, someone who gets it :D

Blodeuedd said...

I beg for forgiveness

Blodeuedd said...

I hope you are luckier than I was ;)

Blodeuedd said...

Amused is good for now

Blodeuedd said...

It would be me and chocolate, mmmm chocolate!!!!!!!
Oh she is not badass, I recommend some bloody fantasy books for that

Blodeuedd said...

;) I hope you can enjoy the rest too

Unknown said...

Haha this review made me giggle "Terrible assassin, has no aim!" I totally understand your issues with Celaena, and while I can't defend her assassination skills I will say the series does improve with each book. Sorry these didn't work for you but I'm glad you got a laugh out of them! :D

Blodeuedd said...

I am afraid that this book was actually the highpoint for me ;)


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