Tuesday, 15 August 2017

TMST: Do you think bloggers and authors can really be friends?


Tell Me Something Tuesday is a weekly discussion post on Rainy Day Ramblings where Rainy discuss a wide range of topics from books to blogging. Weigh in and join the conversation by adding your thoughts in the comments. If you want to do your own post, grab the question and answer it on your blog.

This week's conversation starter:
August 15th: Do you think bloggers and authors can really be friends?

This is a tough one. I honestly do not know! I was friendly with this author back in the day and it did feel like I had to write really positive things about her books. But then again that was my early blogging days and like I have said before, I was a spineless creature, lol. But it also felt like when we drifted apart it was tougher, we clashed when I did not enjoy her books anymore. She had these ideas about that if you do not have anything nice to say then do not say anything at all!

I am not dissing all relationships now just because of that early one. When I got over my "author fear" ;) I could take authors as they are. And it does help that there are authors that actually realise that all ratings are good to have. Sometimes you get a 1, sometimes you get a 5. I have hated a book by an author, just to read another book that I ended up loving.

But it is still a rocky road. I have sure seen it on Goodreads when author friends flock and give 5s and loooove the books *eyeroll*. If you are going to be friends with an author you have to be honest too. And the author has to get that.

So yes, bloggers and authors can be friends. But it has to be an equal kind of friendships that is built on honesty.


Luci at Easter


49 comments:

  1. I understand that authors can feel betrayed up to a level, when you're friends with them but give one of their books a bad rating. On the other hand, friendship with authors should be like friendship with people IRL in that, you don't have to LOVE everything they do. You don't have to be twins or something. Of course, real friendships are different because - even if you criticise something your friend do - you can, and should, do it in private. But reviews are not private by nature LOL. So...it's not easy. One has to be lucky and meet the right authors with the right attitude. The one you were talking about didn't have it, so you were not at fault. At all!

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    1. Well said :D I agree with everything there.

      I really can't not say more than that

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  2. I consider a couple authors friends of mine.

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    1. I'd sure love to meet some in rl too

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  3. Great Easter pic. Yes I agree that authors and bloggers can be friends, it's no different than a Republican and a Democrat being married. LOL It has to be a mutual trust and only grownups allowed.
    Authors who are mean to reviewers who give them less than a stellar review and reviewers who meanly bash novels shame on you!!!!
    That being said I have several authors I'm friends with, one even dedicated a book to me and not all of my reviews for her have been 5 or even 4 stars.

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    1. Oh I could never be married to a republican ;)

      Yay for a dedication :D That is so cool

      Delete
  4. To be honest, I've never really thought about this because I've never approached an author with the hopes of friendship.

    Yes - the five star reviews upon release can be a huge no-no for me as far as using that as a guide on whether or not to pick up a book. In some cases, I am sure they're warranted, but I've been burned by a plethora of five stars before!

    Great post.

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    Replies
    1. I am being careful these days about that.

      The 5s stars need to be earned and I can spot the fake ones at times

      Delete
  5. Yes, a blogger and an author can be friends. Still real friendship is rare and demanding. Also writing sycophantic reviews is not what real friendship should be about. It's far more difficult to criticize meaningfully a book than to praise it for nothing.

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  6. They can totally be friends, but you better believe I'm honest to anyone and everyone even in real life lolol

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  7. Agree with you - although have never had an author as a friend and most likely never will.

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  8. I think there are a lot of authors that understand the dynamic and are ok with it but you have to tread lightly and before sure of that before you start a friendship.

    For What It's Worth

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  9. I think that authors and bloggers can be friends. As an author and a blogger I know a lot of authors and bloggers. :) I know one of my toughest critics has been a blogger I know- but her critique also helped me more than anyone else's words.

    Interesting topic!
    ~Jess

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    1. That is so great :D I am glad it works for you guys

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  10. It is a rocky road, I agree, and I think the answer might be different for every blogger. I tend to keep my interactions to a minimum but the ones I've had, luckily, have been great so far. (knock on wood)

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    1. I do think that it's different for everyone, for every author, for every blogger and every relationship :)

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  11. I have talked with authors who want the honesty. Though, usually they are books I enjoy because we are on the same page with things. But I've given a few 3's and the author accepts that. I've also become great friends with authors that I don't review their books anymore because of that friendship too.

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    1. If I would be really good friends then reviewing would be harder, I could always read and not review, but then again if my friend read a book I had written I would want the truth

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  12. I think they can too. Most of the authors that I've met are down to earth people. I don't think they would take it personally if you wrote a honest and fair review of their book that you didn't like. I've been lucky in that most of the books I've read from authors I've met I've enjoyed.

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

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    1. I would love to meet some authors in RL

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  13. It takes special kind of people for this type of friendship :)

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  14. I believe it's possible, but if I were ever in that situation I would probably step back from reviewing their books. It's just better for all parties that way, good for the friendship because it won't put either person in an awkward situation, and best for the blogger's followers so they know they're not going to get a dishonest review due to any possible conflicts of interest.

    ~Mogsy @ BiblioSanctum

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    1. It would be so awkward, but at the same time if I loved the books I would want to shout it from the rooftops and then people would wonder why that new book is not reviewed

      Delete
  15. Yes, authors and bloggers can be friends. That said, I am "friends" with a lot of authors and most of the conversation revolves around their books. Some have moved on to become true friends but for a lot of them, they are about the books. However, even then, I maintain and objectivity and I will say so if I didn't enjoy the book.

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    1. Yes there are "friends" and friends

      Delete
  16. Personally I don't think so. If the blogger isn't reviewing them then of course! But once reviewing comes into play it really makes a real friendship difficult. I have a hard time believing those that say it doesn't affect their reviewing. Or that if a blogger doesn't love a book and says so that the author will stick around past that. *shrugs* Friendly acquaintances, though, sure.

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    1. i do fear for objectivity, who wants to hurt a friend

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  17. I agree with you it can be tricky but if everyone knows ow to stand it is ok. I know quite well a French author and my reviews are rarely excellent (and I'm surprised he wants to send me his books again but well I'm honest). I don't have close friends who are authors. I ahve a friend who is becoming one so we'll see right?

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    1. Rarely excellent? Then he is a true friend

      Delete
  18. I will say that it's not easy. I am not one of those bloggers who's friends with a bunch of authors. However, I am friends with one author. I think our friendship works because I'm honest with her when I beta read/review her books. I've reviewed a bunch of her books on my blog and they have ranged from DNF to 5star ratings. Any time she has a book that isn't getting detailed feedback from her beta readers, she asks me to read it because she knows I will be brutally honest with her. It's not personal and she knows it. I think it helps that our personalities are very similar. We are both horrible introverts, hate socializing, and hate fake people. So, the fact that we are both honest with each other works.

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    1. That seems to work great. Books do need brutal honesty in that stage. I am glad it works for you both

      Delete
  19. I have a few authors that I consider my friends - not just good acquaintances. They were established authors before I met them. I either 1) don't review their books or 2) have an honest understanding that it's okay if I don't enjoy their books. I also have friends that have become authors. I don't review their books at all.

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    1. It seems everyone's friends are becoming authors :)

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  20. This is a really good topic, and I love seeing the responses. Years ago, when I used to review, I sort of felt like you did, and used a psedonym to avoid problems. As i got older, I stopped reviewing and found that it was easier to make friends with authors, and my focus was more on interviewing them instead. I would like to think that everyone could keep the friendship and job separate, but I know that's not always the case. Hugs...

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    1. I do think doing it your way would be easier. Cos yes friendship and job...not always the best mix

      Delete
  21. This week's question. Ugh. Let's just say that I thought I had a lot more author friends than I really did, which I found out when I stopped running contests and reviewing.

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  22. This is a tricky situation. I am friends with a handful of authors and I do feel that pressure to LOVE their books but at the same time I am betraying myself and my blogs visitors if I lie just to preserve a friendship. I won't lie if I don't like the book but I also try not to sound like I'm ripping it to shreds either. I have declined to review books by an author friend before because I knew it wasn't a good fit for me. That kept me out of a potentially sticky situation.

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    1. Such a tricky one! I do not want to recommend books I hate just cos I am friends with someone. I guess it is good not to be friends with anyone then lol

      Delete
  23. It is rough for sure. I am in a pickle right now. My BF's friend wrote a book and I bought it (bc I am nice) and I read the first page and HATED IT. IDK what to do. LOLLLL I may try it again later.

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    1. Yikes...but yes there is the tricky part

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  24. I am very friendly with several authors and some have friended me on Facebook. Mostly, I love their books. One series by one of the authors is just not a favorite of mine and I've tried to be very honest with my reviews. Luckily her other three series are wonderful.

    I agree it's hard. I don't know them in real life, but interact a lot with several of them, some on a daily basis. Honesty is the only way it can work.

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